


Post-Chameleon Satire

by HappyCamper41



Series: Miraculous Satire [1]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Bad Jokes, Crack, Criticism, Dark Crack, Episode Fix-It: s03 Caméléon | Chameleon, Gen, Parody, Poor Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Post-Episode: s03 Caméléon | Chameleon, Satire, Teenage Drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-01
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-11-07 14:14:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17962112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HappyCamper41/pseuds/HappyCamper41
Summary: “There’s no way!” Marinette exclaimed in disbelief, “Nobody would actually buy into that! That’s not even a real thing!”“Marinette!” Alya interrupted, voice filled with disgust, “Just what are you doing to poor Lila?”Shortly after the events of Chameleon, Lila strikes again.





	Post-Chameleon Satire

Even though she was the last student to arrive, Marinette was fortunately still on time. 

Or perhaps unfortunately. Given a second chance, she would’ve just skipped. Upon entering the classroom, the blue-haired girl blinked twice at the stange scene unfolding before her very eyes. She had seen some very strange things in her time as Ladybug (think: Santa Claus dabbing), but nothing quite this bizarre.

With the exception of Adrien, who she couldn’t see at the moment, the entire class was on their knees and chanting something she couldn’t quite decipher. Marinette jumped when she saw Lila in the front of the classroom, sitting in the seat usually occupied by Ms. Bustier, with a bored expression on her face.

“What’s going on in here?” Marinette frowned, looking at Lila for an answer, “What have you done this time?”

“Oh, nothing much.” Lila shrugged, barely acknowledging Marinette, “Everybody’s on their knees because I was recently diagnosed with a rare disorder, called bitchimus maximus and the only way I can correctly focus is if their heads are all below mine. The chanting was their idea, actually, but I kinda like it.”

“There’s no way!” Marinette exclaimed in disbelief, “Nobody would actually buy into that! That’s not even a real thing!”

“Marinette!” Alya interrupted, her voice filled with disgust, “Just what are you doing to poor Lila?”

“...What?” Marinette blinked in confusion at her best friend, and then jumped when she realized that the entire class was now eyeing her with contempt as well.

“Are you kidding me, Marinette?” Kim glared at her, “Lila has a real disability, and you’re going to keep questioning everything she says?”

“If you don’t like Lila, you should just leave!” Max exclaimed in a rare display of anger.

Marinette was too stunned to react right away. With the exception of a disinterested Chloe, the entire class looked like they were about to send her to the guillotine. How could so many of her loyal friends have completely abandoned her so quickly? This didn’t make any sense. It wasn’t like Lila’s lies were clever.

“You should just let it be, Marinette.” She heard Adrien’s voice for the first time.

It took Marinette a long moment to identify where the sound had come from, and the young designer practically had a seizure when she finally spotted the love of her life, on his hands and knees, kissing Lila’s feet reverently.

“You too, Adrien?” She asked in disbelief, and then gawked when her crush began to take his shirt off, “What the hell are you doing???”

“She said her feet have a new disorder where if they aren’t being caressed by a shirtless supermodel at all times, they might just fall off.” Adrien shrugged, “I don’t believe her either, but standing up to her would just upset her, and that’s not something we should ever do. As long as you and I know the truth, it’s all fine.”

“Lila?” Rose asked sweetly from the back of the room before Marinette could fully process Adrien’s bizarre actions. Rose made sure to wait for the Italian girl’s acknowledgement before continuing, “Do you know when Ms. Bustier will be coming back?”

“Oh, I had her sent home.” Lila explained nonchalantly, and everybody in the classroom looked momentarily confused, before Lila soothed them with a perfectly reasonable explanation for her behavior, “After I got hurt in China while rescuing Mother Teresa from a falling piano-”

“That is so unbelievably fake!” Marinette cut her off, prompting a gasp from the entire class, “Wasn’t Mother Teresa in India anyways?”

“Oh my God, shut up Marinette!” Alya snapped, “We all know you’re just jealous of Lila because she likes Adrien!” This prompted murmurs of agreement from around the room, and Marinette was momentarily horrified when she realized Adrien was in the room!

The boy in question, however, was unable to decipher this mysterious code about his dear friend Marinette, and went right back to sucking Lila’s toes one by one after giving Marinette a confused look.

Tears began to well up in Marinette’s eyes, much to Lila’s pleasure, at just how quickly her so-called ‘friends’ had abandoned her. Wasn’t her word worth anything? Had everybody abandoned even the most rudimentary of fact-checking to the point that they were duped easier than a drunken teenager? 

And even though Adrien was with her, what did it matter if he was going to just pretend he bought into all the lies? 

Unable to handle the pain any longer, Marinette ran from the room in tears, prompting jeers and laughter from behind her. A chorus of ‘good riddance’ and ‘serves you right’ was all that accompanied her. She barricaded herself in a stall, ignoring the comforting voice of Tikki desperately trying to calm her down.

“Third time’s the charm.” Hawkmoth cackled as his absolutely gigantic window on top of the Agreste mansion that somehow attracts no attention despite literally being shaped like the symbol of Hawkmoth opened.

“What could be worse than being abandoned by your friends?” He laughed, “The perfect prey for my little akuma.” Hawkmoth announced despite the fact that there was nobody to hear his clever jokes or remark on just how attractive those majestic white butterflies could be with him. Just thinking about those seductive creatures flapping their wings was enough to make Gabriel question his loyalty to Nathal- er, Emilie.

When the akuma approached Marinette, it actually entered her earrings this time, giving Hawkmoth a window with which to view the thoughts of the young hero. But as Hawkmoth examined the girl’s mindset, he was completely baffled by the sequence of events that had led to her emotional state.

“Why the hell would your loyal friends just start trusting that Lila girl over you?” Hawkmoth was confused, “I figured that a third akumatization would be enough for people to realize they shouldn’t trust her?”

“You would think.” Marinette responded indignantly. “But look, could you please not akumatize me, I’ve kinda got a secret identity to protect, so…”

“Oh no, trust me, I understand.” Hawkmoth backed off immediately, “No, really, being both Gabriel Agreste and… wait a second.”

“You’re Gabriel Agreste?” Marinette inquired.

“Uh, wrong number!” Hawkmoth exclaimed, severing his connection with her.

And Marinette believed him, and then show proceeded as normal, because people aren’t allowed to figure things out on Miraculous.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, obviously this is a crack fic, and I'm exaggerating a lot, but I know I'm not the only one who was annoyed by how they handled everything in Chameleon. You guys get the point.


End file.
